It's once again time to review the winners of the annual Stella awards.
The Stella's are named after 81-year-old Stella Liebeck who spilled
coffee on herself and successfully sued McDonalds. That case
inspired the Stella Awards for the most frivolous successful lawsuits
in the United States. Unfortunately the most recent lawsuit implicating
McDonalds, the teens who allege that eating at McDonalds has made
them fat, was filed after the 2002 award voting was closed.
This suit will top the 2003 awards list without question.
5th place (Tied)
Kathleen Robertson of Austin Texas was awarded $780,000 by a
jury of her peers after breaking her ankle tripping over a toddler who
was running inside a furniture store. The owners of the store were
understandably surprised at the verdict, considering the misbehaving
toddler was Ms. Robertson's Son.
5th place (Tied)
19-year-old Carl Truman of Los Angeles won $74,000 and medical
expenses when his neighbor ran over his hand with a Honda Accord.
Mr. Truman apparently did not notice there was someone at the
wheel of the car when he was trying to steal the hubcaps.
5th place (Tied)
Terrence Dickson of Bristol Pennsylvania was leaving a house
he had just finished robbing by way of the garage door. He was not
able to get the garage door to go up since the automatic door opener
was malfunctioning. He could not reenter the house because the
door connecting the house and garage locked when he pulled it shut.
The family was on vacation and Mr. Dickson found himself locked in
the garage for 8 days. He subsisted on a case of Pepsi he found
and a large bag of dry dog food. He sued the homeowner's insurance
claiming the situation caused him undue mental anguish. The Jury
agreed to the tune of $500,000.
4th Place
Jerry Williams of Little Rock Arkansas was awarded $14,500
and medical expenses after being bitten on the buttocks by his
next door neighbor's Beagle dog. The Beagle was on a chain in
its owner's fenced yard. The award was less than sought because
the jury felt the dog might have been a little provoked at the time
as Mr. Williams, who had climbed over the fence into the yard,
was shooting it repeatedly with a pellet gun.
3rd place
A Philadelphia restaurant was ordered to pay Amber Carson
of Lancaster Pennsylvania $113,500 after she slipped on a soft
drink and broke her coccyx (tailbone). The beverage was on the
floor because Ms. Carson had thrown it at her boyfriend 30 seconds
earlier during an argument.
2nd Place
Kara Walton of Claymont, Delaware sued the owner of a nightclub
in a neighboring city when she fell from the bathroom window to the
floor and knocked out two of her front teeth. This occurred whilst
Ms. Walton was trying to crawl in through the window of the Ladies
Room to avoid paying the $3.50 cover charge. She was awarded
$12,000 and dental expenses.
1st Place
This year's runaway winner was Mr. Merv Grazinski of Oklahoma
City, Oklahoma. Mr. Grazinski purchased a new Winnebago motorhome.
On his trip home from an OU football game, having driven onto the
freeway, he set the cruise control at 70 mph and calmly left the drivers
seat to go into the back and make himself a cup of coffee. Not surprisingly,
the RV left the freeway, crashed and overturned. Mr. Grazinski sued
Winnebago for not advising him in the owner's manual that he could not
actually do this. The jury awarded him $1,750,000 plus a new Winnebago
Motor Home. The company actually changed their manuals on the basis
of this suit just in case there were any other complete morons buying
their recreation vehicles.
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